Who Is Your Friend ?

Apostle Joshua Selman

Sometimes We think Having or being friends with different kinds of people do not have influence in our life…..but we lie, many of us think that we can walk with pigs and not behave like them…..we really need to read this.

Someone chatted me up last week.
And this was how the conversation went.

Someone: Sir, I really will love to be your friend.
I Read the message and immediately visited his profile, after staying long on his profile, (I saw several photographs of dog ear, cat nose etc on his pictures, I read at least 5 of the posts he made, I saw how he poured a friend water on his birthday. People who have this mindset can’t be any close to people I want as friend)

I answered him and told him that we can only remain as friends here on Facebook.

Someone: Ah! But sir why?
Me: (Wishing he didn’t ask), Well I don’t think I will love to be your friend (Trying to be as nice as possible)
Someone: You are so proud sir. You don’t know tomorrow, you never can tell who can help you.
Wait oh! Let me understand something.

Is it that we are not supposed to have a choice to people we bring into our lives as friends?
We are just supposed to accept anyone who walks into our lives and asks for our friendship?
Is it that the freedom to choose friends now qualifies for PRIDE?
Is humility and pride this difficult to define?

I think we really need to craft out a special course in our schools like “Understanding Pride and Humility”
Some people just think that blackmailing us with the statement we are “Proud” will bend us to compromise our values, principles and preferences.

Let me say this, When I was small friendship was for FUN.
At my age now, its foolishness to have friends for FUN, Friendship at a level is strictly for value exchange.
Two are supposed to chase 10 thousand.
If you don’t look like someone who has chased a 1000 before you will be a subtraction to the person you want to be your friend not an addition.

Accepting to be someone’s friend simply means you are signing up a commitment to share in their stupidity, foolishness, wisdom, strength, etc.
If they have more foolishness than wisdom, you are in for some kind of energy draining relationship.

The people you call friends in your life matters.
You are never under any obligation to be friends with everyone who wants to be friends with you except you want to die early.

That you are not friends with them doesn’t mean you don’t wish them well, or cant assist them where the need arises.
This is what people must understand.
There is a protocol of friendship, you must define yours. People must qualify for your energy. You don’t accept friends on emotional appeal, accept them on value appeal.
The extent you go in life depends on the kind of friends you have in your inner circle.

Your friends should match your reputation, values, and most importantly should be heading to a height of greatness with you.
And to you who wants to be friends with others.
This are the 2 questions I ask myself before I appeal to someone to be my friend

Why do I need this friendship?

What value do I have to offer in this friendship?

It will be unfair of me to request that DANGOTE become my friend. I will rather request to serve as a mentee in his life, if striking a relationship with him is necessary, until I come up to a level where I can offer the equal value he can offer me.Lastly as I close this thought.

Again, define your protocol of friendship.Let people qualify for it.If they don’t, be nice to them, offer the help you can when necessary but not necessarily under the commitment of friendship.It is not PRIDE.

Being true to the values that governs your energy is humility at best.It is better to have one person in your life that looks like where you are going, than have 1000 persons in your life that looks like where you have been.Friendship is critical for advancement.With every new friend you make, you should be chasing 10,000.Any friendship that doesn’t achieve that for you is a discount at best.


This sets of friends may not be interested in what you possess, maybe money etc
They are just for you, they can endanger themselves just to make sure you’re okay. When things are good or rough they still choose to stay with you. If you must fulfill destiny, you must have at least 1 of this persons in your life.

When you’re in trouble, they are in with you, in hardship they are in with you. You might have misunderstanding with them but they are not to be driven out from your life. Is just like Jonathan & David.
Jonathan laid down his life for David to be king. (1&2samuel).

This set of people may not be interested in you but interested in what you’re interested in.
They can be school friends, friends at work etc.
They have similar interest with you.

When the goal of you being together have been achieved, you both path ways on a default without any problem.
This people are not against you, they are not for you but they are interested in what you’re interested about.

You both achieve things together and path ways because you both met each other on the journey of achieving success then you walked together.

Trying to think about this set of people,i

This set of people, don’t really like you, and also they are not interested in what you’re interested but that does not mean they hate you.

I call them users of men. They do not add to you positively, they are not concerned about you, they only use you to achieve what they want.
Anything they desire to know about you is for their benefit.
They are not bad people, they can’t just get along with you.

You don’t have to bother about this people because you will eventually waste your time, energy & resources if you do.
They can forget about you when they have achieved their goal with you.

Never you get offended with anybody who leaves you, when they leave, you only know the category they belong.

This are the set of people, you are not really familiar with, you just know them, you can talk to each other but have nothing in common to talk about. You are not close to them but you just see them at times…….I call them passers by

This set of people, don’t like you, they don’t want to do anything with you, they just hate you.
Relating with this set of people can destroy you. Their goal in your life is to see you messed up. They are just wicked to you.

Also, you can be among this 5 groups in the lives of people around you. So do well to also check what you represent in their life and balance the equation.

God bless you

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