(Please patiently read)
“Hello sir, I’ve been in a relationship with my fiancé for a long while and he’s asking me for sex before marriage. I told him to wait but it’s falling on his deaf ears. What should I do?”

“I was told he was God’s will for my life but he wants us to have sex but I said no. I want to quit the relationship but I don’t know how because I like him already”. Please advise.

There has been many cases of men who want sex before marriage, and you would ask, “Is sex a license for marriage or relationship?” But I want you to understand that what sex is to a man is not what it is to a woman. A woman wants sex for intimacy but men wants sex to ease their sexual urge. This is why some married men are selfish in bed, once they’re done, they’ll fail to satisfy their wives once they’re satisfied and the woman feels dissatisfied.

Now, let’s focus on the topic.

Ladies, one thing you need to know about men is that most of them think about sex. Studies have shown that a large fraction of a man’s brain thinks about sex. Although some men who are hell bent on fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives think more than sex. Also know this, men are moved by sight likewise some women. A lady that’s ugly but physically endowed will attract lots of male attention and the same happens to a beautiful lady that’s moderately endowed.

You need to understand why men wants sex so that it can inform your decision whether to say yes or no. Some men wants sex to satisfy their sexual appetite but women wants sex to bond. Some wants sex because they believe it’s a sign to prove your love which is outrightly wrong, wicked and against God’s will; although some women too hold this belief.

Some men wants sex because they believe they must ‘taste’ what they want to eat. Is sex Suya? Some wants sex because the society has projected women to be a sex object. Some wants sex because you get too close and they feel you want it, especially those who are not God fearing or disciplined.

When you dress provocatively, showing him what you alone or your husband ought to see is an invite to him that shows you’re available and he’ll demand sex. When you show him the partition between your breast (Cleavage) or the freshness of your lap skin, he’ll demand for the whole you. However, whether you dress like a nun or not, some men would still demand sex from you; unfortunately, some Christian (church goers) does.

Hear this, a man that wants sex will also communicate his intention to you verbally or bodily. This is why you must be sensitive as a lady and don’t be carried away by his care and attention. Is it really genuine? Ask yourself! A hunter pays more attention to the animal he wants to hunt, this is why he’d leave other animals to focus on his target alone. The same happens to men who wants sex from you before marriage.

How will I know if a man wants sex?

By their fruits, you shall know them. He does that through his body language. When you’re with him, he’ll always touch you, either mistakenly or intentionally. He’ll frequently demand a hug, a kiss or cuddle.

Most times, he’ll find it difficult to take his hands off you. Don’t think he likes you. A man that loves you genuinely won’t lead you into sex or turn you on, he’ll wait till marriage.

When a man wants sex from you, you can tell from his words. He uses pet names often; he makes a direct compliment of your body parts especially the sensitive parts. “I love your lips”, “Your curves are sexy”, “Your beauty is tempting”, “You’re hot” and the likes. Instead of smiling sheepishly and be saying, “Thank you”, that’s a red flag for you which you must decode.

Except you’re strong willed and you resist him, he’ll continue to say it and once he makes his way into your emotions, he’ll manipulate you and get you in bed.

A man that wants sex will frequently engage you in erotic conversations. He begins to talk raw or dirty. He tells you how he feels to touch you, where and how he wants to touch you and so on. If he succeeds in getting you triggered or activate your sex hormones, it’ll be difficult to resist his demands.

What will now happen after you have given him? This is where the animal will begin to chase the hunter? Is that possible? Except in the worst case scenario when Delilah begins to chase Samson.

When you give a man what he wants from you, sex, you’ll be the one chasing him, calling him, begging him and so on. Most ladies cry after this. “After, we had sex he no longer pick my calls”; “He began to act strange”, “He told me he’s tired of the relationship” etc. How else do you want him to act when he has tasted what he wants? I’m not writing this to blame women, but learn so that you don’t become a victim. This is a new year. Avoid stories that touches the heart.

However, quite a lot of ladies are in a fix when the man they love is demanding for sex. “Should I give him or not?” When you know the truth about a matter it’s very easy for you to make the right decision even when you’re in the height of confusion.

God says, “The marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). Will you obey God and disobey him? Will you obey him and disobey God?

When you give a man sex before marriage, you become cheap in his sight, he won’t chase you anymore but begin another chase with another woman, you lose your respect and dignity. That’s not all. He tells his friends or enlist you among the names of the cheap girls he has made his way through.

And what will happen to you?

You’ll become used, cheated when he moves on, feel guilty, Satan accuses you and you may end up being a victim of abortion, unwanted pregnancy, unprepared motherhood and so on.

It is only a real man or a true child of God that won’t ask you for sex before marriage. Many would, even church goers that have the form of godliness but do not have the power. Don’t be surprised that some MOGs will deliberately ask you for sex or try to lure you into it.

When he wants sex from you, not once or twice, quit the relationship. He’s not the right man even if angel Chukwudi appeared to you or prophet Malaika told you he’s the one. God will never give you a man that would destroy you because every good and perfect gift is from the Lord. If he wants sex, not once or twice, or tells you to be pregnant before marriage, flee. Don’t manage him or else he’ll destroy you!

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi


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