I remember that morning I walked into his room, let’s call him James. A good friend I knew from church, we became close and fond of each other, call us best friends. I saw him as a big brother
I got so comfortable with James forgetting that I needed to set boundaries, yes he was a good Christian, a worker in church, a God lover but yet it was not enough reason to let myself all out.
We became regular visitors to each others houses whether we had other people around or not, we stayed behind close doors, watched movies together, cooked and ate together but all this while nothing happened, maybe something was happening on our hearts, who knows?
We went to night classes together, attended church together, spent every time together except when we attended lectures. It was a dream come true to have a big brother, I felt so safe around him! It was my best moments indeed, I had someone who cared for me.
Gradually, our feelings began to change! How he looked at me was different, it was no longer the senior brother-best friend look, it was more. You know what I mean I snubbed it because I was comfortable with him and he was in a relationship.
He pecked me goodbye every time we parted ways, I became more uncomfortable but I couldn’t ask maybe I was enjoying the attention.
“But James, we are just friends and siblings”. I wanted to ask him this but each time my jaw dropped, I have known him for 3 years and nothing has happened, I trusted him!
That Sunday morning, it was all different. I walked into his room to iron my clothes for service since we didn’t have power at my house, when I got into the room, his smile was different, he offered to help me iron the clothes which I happily agreed!
After a while, he turned to look at me! James, what is going on? Nothing! “Be fast so we don’t go to church late”! Then he stood up and tried to take me up, I thought it was one of his jokes so I told him to stop, we had few hours to service. Stop this play, biko.
He insisted, I just knew things were not going fine but I didn’t want to conclude. Okay, let’s just play, he took me up and gave me a kiss! Whaaaat! Why did you do that? Oh it was nothing, just a show of my love! I just didn’t want to make a point so I took my dress and left, we met at the junction few minutes later and still went to church together.
After that morning, I knew I needed to keep a distance, it may be a harmless kiss, a show of love as he called it but it was a path way to SEXUAL IMMORALITY. It was hard for me but I had to set boundaries and stay away from him. I had to!
I told him we needed to set boundaries, to keep ourselves pure and please God. It is hard for close friends to stay apart but to maintain purity and remain steadfast in your walk with God, put aside everything that will stop you from serving God genuinely!
I and James are still good friends, I am sure the decision of setting boundaries kept the respect and honor we have for each other. It is hard for a relationship built on immorality and impurity to share respect, true love and honor.
Sometimes, you just need to make certain decisions to keep every relationship pure and without sin. No matter how harmless the kiss looks, no matter how harmless the tight hug seems but set boundaries when you have to!
Don’t let it get out of hand, then you feel terrible and blame each other for the mistake you cannot correct. If you want to keep healthy relationships please set boundaries before you start asking “WHAT ARE WE”
Purity is a fight, you must be on guard at all times, don’t be caught UNAWARES. Let it not be from a peaceful friendship you thought had no harm! Be at alert, set boundaries while there is still time! Don’t make the mistake of staying close doors with a brother no matter how you trust him.
I have heard stories of people who got raped or even eventually had sex! Fam, we can keep great relationships but don’t ever get comfortable with the little moves, little peck, tight hugs and harmless kisses!
SET BOUNDARIES NOW!
Had such experience? No matter how bitter it ended, share we can learn from it.
Blessed? Let’s hear from you. The world needs to see this
©Scripted by The Journey of A Christian Lady