How To Know Who To Marry – Apostle Joshua Selman Nimmak

Apostle Joshua Selman and spouse


There are no physical formular provided in finding a spouse,but there are scriptural guidelines, there is no physical formular in the Bible, the Bible scatters guidelines….. And I have been able to connect five scriptures, that if you use them,they could guide you in making a Godly decision…..are you ready koinonia.


Firstly is proverbs 18:22……look up please, inside and outside let’s read together, whosever findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favour…….so automatically the Bible shows us that the process of getting a wife would demand responsibility on the part of the man..there would be action,it will involve you
The word ‘find’ is used, it didn’t say whosever picks a wife or whosever prays a wife to come,it says whosever finds a wife,it gives an idea of searching,it gives an idea of desire…. that means there would be commitment,if you want to get married action would be required on your own part


The Bible says whosever finds a wife. You are not going to sit down where you are and want a lady to come and meet you……it is not going to happen that way, regardless of whether you saw a Vision or not, there would be an initiation, a step you must take …are we getting blessed koinonia


Secondly is Amos3:3……it buttresses on Gen2, Amos 3:3 is the grand key to a successful marriagea and relationship…..the key to a successful marriage is not love,it has been proven again and again that love is not enough to keep you married.

Daddy and Mommy Adeboye


” Can two walk together except they be agreed” – Amos 3:3
The word “be agreed” is the word for “compatibility”…… compatibility measures your degree of agreeableness, spiritual agreeableness, phycological agreeableness, similarity in ideologies about God, about money, About life, about parenting
Two would walk together if they are compatible……..Are you getting what am saying now, it’s very important
That means it doesn’t matter whether you saw her in a vision or in a dream, whether you saw yourself wearing a bow- tie and she was wearing a white wedding gown and a flower came from heaven and a voice said this flower is your marriage flower


I don’t care what you saw or did not see,if there is no compatibility….then it would fail, imagine for instance that this Sister is my wife and I got married to her and I am praying in tongues or she is praying in tongues and I turn and say what is that, I don’t believe in praying in tongues,two are not walking together.. I might believe in spending and wastage,in my ego and letting children die to be giving donations in church………And that’s not her mindset,you see there is friction,so what is your ideology about God,what is your ideology about money,what is your ideology about culture………. culture, what is your ideology about ministry
A man of God for instance,goes to get a lady because she is beautiful of fine,have you seen or asked what her passion is for ministry, otherwise she would be fine for nothing and destroy your church.


When she is supposed to be a model, she cannot sacrifice,she can’t lay down her life to be the mother figure for the church……is God speaking to us
I want you to write this down and star it,”Never ever, I don’t care what you saw in the spirit,never brothers ask a lady out who you are not compatible with” you are going to destroy her or she would destroy you
Even if she does not have every ideology straightened out,does she have the spirit to be teachable,does he have the spirit to be teachable, it’s not just that, he is in a Jeep,what is his ideology about managing challenges…….. otherwise you are a Christian and you get married to Him,he tells you too that he is also a Christian and the next thing he brings the tail of an antelope or the tail of any animal and hangs it as a charm and say see,I know am a Christian but let me tell you my great grand father had this thing, it’s like that in our culture, everybody have it,if you don’t understand just keep it there.

Papa and Mama Eneche


Someone that is supposed to be a Christian would wake in the morning and he makes incantations on the tail and you are saying my goodness what did I get married to,and you know by spiritual intelligence that you are in trouble but you claim you are marrying a rich man,now you have married disaster
Even if you never see any vision or hear anybody’s name, by the time you find a lady that is compatible in ideologies,I guarantee you except the word of God is a lie you would have an exceptional marriage.


The reason why unbelievers, although when they marry they were not born again,but because they had compatibility they are still together, And christains who are born again are separating because they think born again would solve compatibility
The Bible says “it’s better to live on the roof than share a house with a nagging wife”- Proverbs 25:24……..You are a man of God,you know where God is taking you to,now you go and marry a lady that is lazy,weak and cries over everything
Let me tell you two of you are born again but just know that the family is on it’s way to crash……..I tell you the truth, don’t unnecessarily spiritualize things and say no,I know my God is able……yes he is able, but the girl that prays alot ,will she be able to cook for you.


That’s the reason why I encourage people the moment you start a relationship,part of the many responsibilities of the man is to take the lady to whether your church or your meeting place or wherever is your primary place of spiritual feeding
Do you know why,let me tell you,if a brother in koinonia asks a lady out in koinonia,the probability of them having an exceptional marriage is even above 90 percent. Why? Because their ideologies are similar,they are hearing the same thing and they believe the same thing…Are you getting what am saying now

Daddy and Mommy Mike Bamiloye


Not that we say we are fasting for ten days and the wife is pulling her mouth all around and angry about the ten days fasting,or a woman who loves excellence and is ready to achieve more…but the man is ready to be stagnant


Thirdly koinonia is proverbs 19:14……very interesting scripture, when I stumbled on this it blessed me in no small way it says ” Houses and wealth are the inheritance from fathers,but a wise, understanding and sensitive wife is a gift and blessing from the lord.


This means you can inherit Houses and riches,but when it comes to a woman,you must involve God,it says a prudent wife is from the lord, meaning if you ignore God,you throw God out of the equation because you believe that this God, Everytime he comes in, he messes my relationship and makes me take unpleasant decisions……….many people hate God until they enter a relationship and they now go to God and say lord, This is hereby introducing my life partner and God would say you choosed it ,go ahead. By the time you see pepper in the relationship or marriage,you now turn to God and say where were you God, and God says I was here all the while, behold I stand at the door and knock if you open,I would come in, if you give me entrance.
Let me tell you something, brothers and sisters, a prudent wife and by extension a prudent husband is from the lord,you cannot use looks to judge and know if a man will still be faithful after ten years,men can change


As at the time you met the man he doesn’t have money,you don’t know what his tendencies are,you cannot not use the beauty and psyche of a lady just to believe that this is my wife………….See, a prudent wife is from God, a prudent wife is from the lord.
So involve God………

These are the guidelines that the Bible gives us in knowing the right person to marry

SEE THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE I WANT TO TELL YOU, IT’S CALLED THE A, B, C OF INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

A: Always love your spouse.

B: Believe in each other.

C: Celebrate each other often.

D: Don’t argue but always reason together.

E: Expect imperfections from your spouse.

F: Fix solutions to problems on time.

G: Go for a walk together once a week.

H: Hold each other’s hands often.

I: Ignite the passion in your spouse daily.

J: Just laugh over issues worth criticizing.

K: Kill the spirit of unhealthy competition.

L: Let your spouse know your movements.

M: Make love like newly weds.

N: No separate room for you both.

O: Oppose any intruder or third party.

P: Pray together always.

Q: Quality time should be spent together.

R: Resist every temptation of infidelity.

S: Stay positive to each other’s vision.

T: Take no record of past offence.

U: Utilize every opportunity to bond.

V: Visualize a glorious future together.

W: Win each other’s admiration daily.

X: X-ray your lives together.

Y: Yell not at each other for any reason.

Z: Zip your mouth when you’re angry.

God bless you……..

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