How To Handle Pressures From Parent Concerning Marriage – Mommy Gloria Mike Bamiloye

Mommy Gloria with Daughter In-Law

QUESTION AND ANSWER BY MUMMY GLORIA BAMILOYE


How do we handle pressure from parents concerning marriage and how should we respond to them in a situation where a set time has been given to the lady?


ANSWER
I was having group discussions with some single ladies when one of them asked this question. I tried to answered the question but she was not satisfied . She kept on asking the question again and again with serious concern and emphasis on what I think they should do because many of them are even afraid of going back home to face their parents after graduating or completing their service year because of this issue.


I was so much concerned and sad when I heard this.
I was so touched at the situation they find themselves. Many of them have graduated with good grades ,they are mature enough for marriage ,the parents are on their necks demanding to bring somebody home. Some parents even go as far as fixing a set time for them. I was so sad and this made me to see the desperation in some ladies whenever they approach this stage. Imagine a lady holding on to a man who has no where going ,while some ladies are ready to settle down with anyone without taking time to ask from God .


Some ladies will throw caution into the air and approach the man themselves just to bring somebody home. Young men are also faced with this situation ,so this answer is for them too.


So how can you handle the pressure, Firstly,do not allow anyone to push you . Remember your parents will not live with you in your matrimonial home .You will live with the man or the lady you choose for yourself All they would do is to send you forth by organizing a very good wedding for you. At the same time ,you don’t need to fight or be angry with them ,but to respond in love and to always assure them of the plan of God for your life .
They may be doing this out of concern and love but all the worries and the anxieties will not help you but will rather dampen your spirit and your faith. That is the more reason why you need to stand in God with strong determination.

It is better to wait to marry God’s choice than to rush to marry just anyone in other to satisfy your parent’s desire or to meet up with their set time.
The best way to handle the pressure is to stay in God and his word and determine to close your ears to any push from man.
Talk to them with respect and humility and let them know your Heavenly Father has the best plan for you.


As a young man /woman, you need to discover your vision, and occupy your time with God’s service. That is what God ask you to do as a young man and woman.
Joel 2:28 KJVS
[28] And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
1 Corinthians 7:32 KJVS
[32] But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
Keep your self holy and be involved in His service
Matthew 6:33 KJVS
[33] But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.


That is how best to position yourself ( in Gods service ) and all others will be added to you including good husband and wife .
When you know this early enough, and you position yourself in the will of God, you will allow God to work on your behalf.
Doing what God ask you to do will give you peace and assurance. It will also help you to have inner strength to resist any pressure from anyone because you are so sure of the plan of God for your life .


Roaming around aimlessly without any vision or without engaging yourself in God’s service will leave you open to any negative influence.


IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARENT AND YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE PEACE AND BE HAPPY AT THE LATTER END, IF YOU ALSO LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU DESIRE TO BE HAPPY LATER IN LIFE, YOU WILL DETERMINE TO WAIT AND REST IN GOD.


AND TO THE PARENTS…


This is the time to rise up for our children. This is the time every parent need to please help our children so they can have a peaceful and settled home.
What any godly parent should do for the children is to be praying for them. We must not forget ,God is their father who also has better plans for them. Instead of pushing them knowing fully well that the matter goes beyond what anyone can handle.


We need to apply wisdom in the way we approach this matter and in the
way we show our concern for them on this issue.
Instead of disturbing or nagging constantly over this ,let us go into the Lord’s presence on their behalf and intercede for them.
It is dangerous to try to work anything out with our brain ,it can seriously backfire. Only God has the power to do it at this stage .Abraham rose up on behalf of his son ,and REBECCA was given to Isaac.


That is to show us that parents have a role to play when their children reach this stage of getting life partners .
Do not push them out of the will of God into the devil’s deceit by your constant nagging and complaints .
Do all you need to do before God ,pray for them,it is part of your responsibility. Many parents complain out of fear and anxiety,which must not be allowed. Because once your children notice this in you ,you are sending a very wrong signal which can lead to emotional imbalance
Whereas ,when they discover you are peaceful and calm about it and you only raise it once a while in prayer with them without fear ,they will be stable and strengthen to wait .but this does not hinder your normal advise and discussion with them once a while


Philippians 4:6 KJVS
[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.


It is very wrong for any parent to set a time for them on this issue ,because it is like playing God or indirectly forcing them into the world . It is very dangerous .
You are pushing them into the hand of the enemy and know this that If your child marries just anyone to satisfy you, you will both suffered the consequences
I will therefore advise parents to rest in the Lord at this stage and allow God to work it out for your children so you can have peace and joy at the end .When your children have good homes,you will have peace for no one will send for you to settle fights. It is better to stay calm now in the Lord’s presence and apply the principle of Father Abraham by intercede and call on God on behalf of your children. For it is better to cry and call on God for them now than to cry later for God intervention when you suddenly discover the couple are not compatible as a result of constant fights you are called upon to settle.


May God have mercy on us .

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